It’s about 1:20 pm on a Friday as I write this. I’m currently in Southern Arizona so you can imagine how a June day would feel. You would then feel relieved because you knew that you’d arrive to a cool office so the heat wouldn’t be too much of a hassle. The air in the office went out yesterday.
I froze a powerade and a water bottle and bought a frappuccino. I’m dead. As I sit here on my own in this hot office looking for immediate distraction I think about how much I have wanted pray as of late, and how much I have not followed through. A million and one excuses. I’m physically hot, yet spiritually I feel like the warm grapes on my desk that I didn’t finish this morning. I don’t think I’ve ever gone this long like this. I don’t believe in Limbo yet that’s exactly how I feel. I’m just existing spiritually. I’m hoping that admitting it is the my first step to recovery. I read a post earlier from Rick Warren. It talked about how Eve wasn’t attracted to the tree of Good and Evil because of it’s darknesses, but because she saw that it was good. He went on to say that just because something is good it doesn’t mean that it comes from God’s goodness, even the devil was at some point an anger.
I’ll admit right now things are good, but that’s all they are, and while I appreciate it, I don’t want things to just stay “good.” I want fire and I think I’m coming to a point where “good” isn’t enough anymore.
Tangible Delusion 