image credit : werejustherepretending.com
You can call me silly, but I compartmentalize the responsibilities of adulthood from who I am personally. I am 23 years old and I don’t feel like an adult. On my wedding day I probably won’t feel like an adult. When I’m holding a child in my arms I will definitely not feel like an adult, but none the less I, by definition am an adult.
I had a funny childhood where I had to mature at a young age so to compensate I Benjamin-Button-ed my maturity, at least on a personality level. I know it’s not the smartest thing, but it happened. At one point I just refused to be responsible.
But alas, I finished school and got a job. Well then I needed a car and got a car, started paying rent and officially got health insurance on my own and then graduated. Granted I had my job for a while but I did most of that in a month. And I still can’t get over it.
Most people would say okay? People do all of that everyday why is this so important? Honestly, it’s been miraculous. Yeah, I’m smart and capable and blah blah blah, but I struggle with my own self. I tend to be very hard on myself and often demean my accomplishments most of which I couldn’t have gotten through without hours of scripture and on my knees praying. Let me show you why my life to this point has basically been miraculously.
I technically shouldn’t have been born.
My mom was diagnosed at an early age with poly-cysitic syndrome, which makes it next to impossible to conceive. Yet, voila! Here I am.
Not only am I an ethnic minority, but I am also a gender minority.
I know that sounds like a cop out but it’s not. Statistically speaking I wasn’t very likely to make it this far being that I’m a Hispanic Woman from a upper-lower class income.
I messed up in highschool and still got a scholarship.
I went through I not so great situation in my life that I allowed to compromise my goals and emotional stability and failed two classes. Yet somehow still made it out with a community college scholarship and FAFSA that paid for two years of college.
I didn’t take my SATs and still made it into a well known Arts University.
Yup I didn’t take them, but because Columbia College Chicago is an open draft school and I did two years of school prior to attending, I didn’t need SAT or ACT scores.
I couldn’t afford it.
$12,000 a semester is a pretty penny and there was still an amount that I had to pay out of pocket at the time, but I was qualified for government aid and loans making it possible for me to attend.
I didn’t have much of a portfolio after I graduated.
While I saved a ton of money by attending community college first I was sincerely lost. I had no clue what exactly I wanted to study and when I figured it out it turned out that there was three different facets to the degree and I had to stick with one if I wanted to create a solid portfolio that demonstrated my professional abilities in at least one area. Barely two year into the game and only one or two side projects left me with a wanting portfolio.
It takes months to find a job.
After another one of my ever so popular meltdowns I moved back home. As most people know it takes a while to get hired. On my first serious day of searching (weeks after I moved back and was applying online) I got a job.
I had a cheap car that couldn’t be driven out of town.
Actually this car itself was a miracle, we got it for $500 with very little miles and a great sound system and figured we could fix whatever was wrong with it with another $500. That is, until our car just died.
I ended up having to purchase a new car, but with nothing to repair and very little miles. My mom had prayed to God if we could the same great deal she got with our Exterra, low and behold we got the exact same Exterra down to the color.
I didn’t have health insurance.
So I didn’t have insurance that travelled outside of the state and I had just moved. I ended up at a job that had just that.
You see most of these things are small but make a world of a difference and it happened in a matter of weeks. I’m still surprised at how most of everything panned out. That I was blessed with unbelievable parents (I have three <3) and that everywhere I’ve gone I’ve received nothing but support and love.
I guess really this post was about gratitude and the fact that at the end of the day I don’t have to compromise who I am or what I’ve been through to carry through this adult world.
Thanks for reading Maggie